Institute for Organization Management - A Program of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce

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A PROGRAM OF THE U.S. CHAMBER OF COMMERCE FOUNDATION
 

IOM Blog

October 16, 2015

Can We Really Have Tough Conversations with Our Boss?

I am glad you decided to find out the answer, which is… It depends!  Some bosses are open and welcome constructive feedback, while others are full of ego and don’t encourage an open dialogue. This summer I presented several workshops at the U.S. Chamber Foundation Institute for Organization Management. It was a real privilege speaking with men and women who work in associations and chambers throughout the country.

One of the sessions I conducted was “Managing Upward.”  I posed the following question to the students: “What are some of your challenges with your boss or upper management?”

Here are some of their responses:

  • The boss not being available
  • There is no follow up on issues that require swift action
  • Not dealing with conflict and letting things slide
  • Meetings which waste the team’s time
  • No accountability with the team
  • Not setting expectations and no one knows what they need to be doing
  • Lack of trust

Ouch! Is that enough? The list was a lot longer, and you will find more scenarios in future posts.

What would you do if your boss gave you negative feedback in front of your team?

Would you…

  • Stay silent?
  • Say something that you wished you didn’t say?
  • Get the respect that you deserved by being direct with respect?

This is always a tough situation because it depends on so many variables when communicating to upper management.  Here is one option that we practiced in the session.

I don’t want to be disrespectful.
I do want to clear the air.
I was caught off guard yesterday when I received negative comments in front of my colleagues because I would have appreciated the important feedback in a one-on-one meeting.

Let’s dissect this formula.  “I don’t want…I do want…” will make most communication safe.  The group came up with some realistic answers for their own situations using this one strategy.  “I am…when…because…” is the power talk formula. This works like a charm.  “I was caught off guard…” is a statement that has no judgment.  It is how you feel.  Try using this and let me know what results you receive.

What will you say to your boss if he or she gives you negative feedback in front of others?

Discover how your communications skills impact your success at work. Take a FREE quiz at www.CommunicationSKillsAtWork.com/quiz.

Joyce Weiss
Joyce Weiss, M.A, CSP
Communications Strategist and Career Coach
Joyce Weiss Training & Development LLC

Joyce Weiss, M.A. CSP is a Communication Strategist and Career Coach.  Joyce works with individual business professionals at every level on the corporate ladder as well as teams to boost their confidence and keep their cool to overcome communication conflict.

She helps individuals and teams use quick and easy strategies that help them think on their feet.  These techniques help clients react constructively during potentially negative situations (peer bullying or addressing mediocrity), steer clear of flare-ups when colleagues push hot buttons and help understand triggers. 

Register for her FREE Webinar – Powerful Communication Strategies to Get Outstanding Results HERE. You will learn how to Kick Conflict to the Curb:  Get the Respect you Deserve!  You can reach her at Joyce@JoyceWeiss.com.

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