I’m finding that more of my clients are asking me to address workplace bullying. Bullies are really 2-year-olds disguised in adult clothing. This article will give you 3 ideas on how to deal with workplace bullies.
A few questions for consideration:
• Were you bullied as a child?
• Did you fight back or just take it?
• Is there someone at work who is a bully to you or others?
• Does your organization deal with bullies in the workplace?
These questions are ones that are coming up more and more when I talk to clients. They see an increase in bullying and they don’t know how to stop this conflict in the workplace.
Workplace Bullying Idea #1: Fear and Intimidation at Work
The mean boys or girls grow up and become even meaner as adults, especially if no one has ever confronted this negative behavior. Fear and intimidation become part of their daily routine even if they are in leadership roles. Yelling, swearing, ignoring, and demeaning others in front of employees are all ways for bullies to control others. It works because most people don’t know what to do. I’ve been researching this subject lately and have been finding new data to share with my clients.
Workplace Bullying Idea #2: An Actual Example from a Client
A client, Debbie, called me for help in dealing with someone on her board who was bullying her. Debbie’s boss appreciates her and is pleased with her performance because she steadily raises money for the organization. Her boss knows about Sean, a board member who continuously demeans her, and Debbie called me on the suggestion of her boss. Debbie has 100% support from her boss, who wants her to take care of Sean on her own terms. Sean also micromanages Debbie. Debbie and I worked on a few techniques.
Workplace Bullying Idea #3: Examples That Worked for Debbie
Below are some sample statements to use on bullies.
“I don’t want to be belittled. I do want to maximize and collaborate with our different skill sets, connections, and experience in raising as much money for our organization as possible.”
“I’m overwhelmed when I don’t get things done in a timely manner because it is not a professional reflection on our team.”
“I’m frustrated when I’m micromanaged, especially by someone other than my boss because I have a proven track record of success.”
Sean folded his arms at first and did not respond. However, the next board meeting his behavior changed and Debbie left a message on my voice mail at midnight because she was thrilled that she was able to turn things around.
It’s a risk to speak to a bully. At times things actually get worse, especially when they are narcissists! But with practice and support we can all discover ways to resolve these issues. Make sure to send me your own experiences because believe me, you are not alone!
Hi Joyce,
I loved your article! Workplace bullying is definitely a hot topic at the moment – as it should be!
I’m a member of the National Workplace Bullying Coalition and I was wondering if you would be interested in speaking at our annual conference. The theme this year is SURVIVING AND THRIVING: Tools to Eliminate Incivility, Workplace Bullying, Harassment, Violence and Other Bad Behaviors That Ruin Your Workplace.
This year we are doing it entirely online and will ask presenters to speak for 15 minutes. The conference is on Oct 19, and so far our keynotes include best-selling author Bob Sutton, the Commissioner of Las Vegas, and the former Chair of the EEOC, Jenny Yang.
We would love for you to join us in our movement to stop workplace bullying! If you are interested, please contact me at karla @ civilitypartners . com.
I look forward to hearing whether you might be interested.
Best,
Karla
Here is the link to our registration page: https://civilitypartners.lpages.co/surviving-and-thriving-online-conference/
And our call for proposals form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSe6nMCOjxCNTmNFiH9SbTTpF0T4q6ZQUyiJsOogSYeCsFF5Ig/viewform?c=0&w=1
Hello Joyce , I can relate to this article on workplace bullying but that mixed in with an issue I have been struggling with for a while ( Trying to develop Accountable and well performing employees ). I manage and Administrate a Medicare Home Health Agency, I have been trying to develop the skill of clarifying and creating accountability with the employees that I hire and train. I also am struggling with how much responsability or workload is enough , at what point are you overloading your employee , or at what point are you expecting too much. How do I gage these things ? When I follow my intinct or gut feel for the employee and there seems to be empathy at what point would I be pushing too much